Tips on Parenting

In these modern times, parents are trying their best to get the "Best Parent Award" by doing things so perfectly for their children that they forget in this rat race what is the best interest of their child. From making the best creative tiffin boxes to finish their projects perfectly.....Not thinking that may be the child dont want them to do but just be there and guide them

What is the rush??? What is the need to get the "Best Parent Award" from other parents???

As parents we strive to nurture and guide our children in the best possible way. But this journey is a never-ending journey which takes a new direction as children grow. The need of the hour is to strike a balance as a parent and seeing your child healthy both physically and emotionally. Like growing pains, parenting pains and be both frustrating and tiring. 

Here are few tips which can help parents focus more on positive side of parenting:

1. Greet your child with a Smile every day: we say the 1st impression lasts similarly try to wake up your child with a smile, wish them Good Morning.

2. Give your child your full attention: No matter what your child's age is when they come to you look at them and give them your complete attention. This makes them feel safe secure and at ease speaking to you about their day. 

3. Set clear limits on your child's behaviour: Sit   down and have a family discussion on the family rules in your home. Rules should be few, fair, easy to follow and positively stated depending upon the age of the children at home. They should be followed and implemented by all. Children should be made aware of consequences of not following the rules.

4. Limit the use of gadgets: provide children with options of playing board games with family, introduce them to the world of reading books, doing puzzles, taking them for outdoor games or nature walks.   

5. Do not feed into their emotional outbursts: If your child misbehaves, stay calm and give them clear instruction to stop misbehaving and tell them what you would like them to do instead. (e.g. "Stop throwing the toys on the floor. Play with the truck on the ground.") Use specific praise with your child if they stop. (e.g., "Thank you for playing with the truck on the ground.") 

6. Have realistic expectations:  Children will misbehave at times and losing temper as a parent is inevitable and having discipline challenges. Take a deep breath try to calm yourself down and then mange the situation.

7. Guide your child through their mistakes and weakness:  Rather than focussing on their weakness focus on their strengths. Praise them for every small achievement. Guide them through in their weakness. Encourage them to explore more areas of interest.

8. Parent by example: (Model what you expect): Think of your children like a xerox machine who will mimic everything you do. If you make poor choices in behaviour, you are giving them permission to act in the same ways.

9. Don't forget to take care of yourself: It is difficult to be a calm, relaxed parent if you are always feeling stressed or anxious. Try to find time every day or at least once a week, to let yourself unwind or do something that you enjoy. As Parents it seems difficult to do but give yourself permission to take time for yourself.

By: Dr. Divya Pal, Consultant- Mental Health and Behavioural Sciences, Fortis Hospital, Kolkata.